Emolgass: A Hilarious Shiny Sprite Tale
by Nigel Yearning
Summary: A trainer left his Emolga at home to run a quick errand. When he got back, he saw the shiny sprite had made a big mess. He decided to record the aftermath, not realizing right away that he struck pay-dirt with his footage. Oneshot.


**WARNING**

_**The stunts, tactics, and dumb ideas performed in this story are made by characters created by the author or borrowed from the original Pokémon franchise. What you are about to read contained no evidence that it can be done, or even be safe (and survivable) in real life. The author is not responsible for any serious injuries or deaths associated with this story**_

_**Reader and Parental discretion is strongly advised**_

**. . .**

Mark had his camera on with its lens facing towards him. He held it up to eye level as he stood at the doorstep to his house. He had a smirk on his face, he tried his best to hold back his laughter but the humor was so ridiculous and absurd to contain. Mark had to tell someone, but no one in the world would believe him. Luckily he had his video camera, thankfully fully charged, sitting in the glove compartment of his used pickup truck. With confidence, he pressed the play button and the red light came on with an audible ding. He gave it a second before he started yapping away.

"So I was at the store," he said, "running an errand. Just a usual thing on a normal weekend. I often bring my Emolga shopping with me, she loves to go grocery shopping. Normally she would stay by my side, never wondering off in fear of us getting separated. But today, she decided for once to stay at home _alone_. I was only gone for 30 to 40 minutes. When I came back, I found this."

Mark held up the camera in one hand as he opened the front door with the other. When he walked in, he pointed the camera at the ginormous mess before him in the living room. The coffee table was covered in empty soda cans, potato chip bags, candy wrappers, and other sorts of trash that wasn't immediately identifiable.

The couch before the coffee table was even worse. Two trash mountains were piled up about a meter on each end of the couch, these had bigger bags and wrappers, all of them were empty. Mark aimed the camera between the piles and revealed his Sky Squirrel Pokémon, sleeping on her back with a hand on a slightly bulging belly.

"My Shiny Sprite Emolga, somehow, ate all that," Mark continued, "I don't know why yet, maybe she was upset that I wasn't home or she was simply bored. Either way, she had eaten through half a week's supply of snack food a while watching TV. And what was she watching, you asked?"

Mark turned the camera towards the 120cm HDTV, it was still on, tuned to the local Faraday City News channel which was talking about sewer and utility problems in the city at the moment, "She would had watch a TV show or a movie, but no. Instead, she just sat down and watched the news as she stuffed herself. I've seen her did hilarious stuff in the past but this beats them all right here."

Mark hovered the camera over the garbage and chuckled, "Oh what a mess to clean up. My dad would want an explanation for the sudden buildup of garbage on the curb. Instead, I'll load it all in the back of my pickup truck and dispose of all the garbage somewhere in Faraday City," he hovered the camera over Emolga again, "But first, I need to get my loving Pokémon some medicine before she get's the expected tummy ache."

He sat the camera on the table, slightly directed at Emolga and the living room wall next to the couch, "Now where did I put that syrup stuff again?" he asked himself as he walked off to the kitchen.

**. . .**

The camera sat and watched Emolga as she slept, within seconds her foot twitched. The shiny sprite rolled on her side and let out a snore as her trainer rummage through the kitchen to search for stomach medicine. Without warning, the camera observed Emolga slashing the air with a hand. A couple of seconds later, Emolga began moving her arms and legs in a rapid fashion as if she was running. Whatever dream she was having, the camera was catching a piece of the action in real life. If it had a brain, it would decide this was worth watching.

Emolga continued to imitate her dream for the next few seconds, suddenly her eyes shot open. She jumped up, blundered through a trash pile before, and jumped off the couch before plowing her face into the living room wall. Emolga crashed to the floor in a loud thud, letting out a rough grunt upon impact. The shiny sprite continued to moan in pain as she got up on her hind legs and crawled back on the couch, she used her arms to drag herself over the trash and back at her original spot. Several bags and cans spilled onto the already cluttered floor, signaling that there was activity in the room.

**. . .**

"Emolga?" Mark returned to the living room with the medicine in hand.

He saw his Emolga sitting up on the couch, she let out a silly smile and started jumping up and down in excitement, "Emolga," she cheered, "Emolga! Emolga! Emolga!"

She continuously chant the syllables of her species' name as Mark came over and sat beside her, knocking more trash to the floor in the process, "How's my fur ball?" he said in a reassuring voice.

"Emo," she spoke in a singing voice as she rested her head against her trainer's side, "Emolga."

"Here," said Mark as he gave her a cup filled with purple liquid, "This would help for your tummy.

Emolga took the cup from Mark's hand, "Emolga." she said, sounding like she was thanking him.

As Emolga started slurping the medicine down, Mark picked up the camera and walked back into the kitchen. He aimed the camera towards a 2 liter bottle filled with purple liquid, sitting on the wall counter next to the fridge, "I gave her this," said Mark, "It should help with her soon to be upset stomach, I know how it works. First she gets the aches, and then it was full-blown. It's so sad to watch her in such pain, so I got this to-," Mark stopped short and noticed something, "Wait a minute."

Mark turned the bottle so the label was facing the camera, on the label, written in big letters, was "Prune Juice."

"Uh-oh," said Mark, realizing his mistake, "I gave her the wrong stuff!"

He pushed the bottle aside and ran back to the living room to stop his Emolga from drinking it all, sure enough she drank all the prune juice. A whole half-liter of it. She licked her lips and sat the glass on the table, then belched. Emolga sat there with a blank stare as she looked off to the side, Mark held his breath and waited for something to happen.

A full minute went by and things started happening. Emolga looked down and noticed her belly was bubbling and growling inside, she giggled as she placed her hands over her stomach. The Sky Squirrel Pokémon was quite ticklish, Mark didn't know she was ticklish on the inside as well until now, "Emolga!" she laughed as she gripped the sides of her belly with her hands and started jiggling it.

_What the crap am I looking at? _Her trainer thought as he stood there, dumbstruck.

So she was enjoying it, that was a surprise. Emolga was always a bizarre character to figure out. She was having problems since she was an inbred, Emolga had only 3 grandparents and both her parents were cousins. Emolga didn't get the funny look in her eye, indicating that her case of inbreeding wasn't that bad. As for all Mark was concerned, all the problems were mental, not physical. Another reason why he loved Emolga like she was his daughter.

After playing with her own belly for at least 5 minutes, the bubbling ceased. Emolga's expression quickly changed, the prune juice that worked in her favor for just a few minutes finally turned against her. She got up on her hind legs and did the potty dance, using all her will to keep her rectum shut, "Emo," she said as she shot off the couch, "Emo!"

Mark watched with his camera as Emolga ran on all fours across the room and up the stairs, he quickly followed her to the bathroom. He was just in time to watch her plunk her butt on the toilet seat and unloaded into the bowl. The blast of foul odor hit Mark like a tidal wave, it was so strong that it stung his eyes. Emolga grunted and moaned as her bowels struggle to expel her excrement into the bowl. Mark was surprise how fast the prune juice went through her system, especially at the rate in which Emolga crapped.

"Emolga!" she yelped as she let out another load of feces.

This time it sounded more like a water faucet, Mark theorized it was probably the feces liquified by the prune juice. During the spur of the moment, Mark couldn't stop laughing as he videotaped his poor Pokémon as she was stuck on the toilet for the next 15 minutes. By the time she was done, Emolga panted loudly as she leaned over the toilet. She rested her hands on her knees and let the leftovers just fall out. When Emolga stopped defecating entirely, she grabbed some toilet paper and wiped herself clean. Exhausted, Emolga slumped off the toilet and fell face first to the floor.

"You okay, Emolga?" Mark asked as he approached.

"Emolga," the Sky Squirrel Pokémon said weakly as she nodded, "Whew!"

Emolga let out a smile as she laid on the floor, completely relaxed. Mark chuckled to himself as he hovered the camera over Emolga, who looked straight at it with a smile, "You're so stoned," said Mark, "So stoned."

The shiny sprite opened her mouth and laughed to her heart's content, "Emolga!"

When Mark hovered the camera towards the toilet, he stepped back from what he saw, "Holy crap," he said, "That's a lot of crap!"

A pile of Emolga excrement had piled itself high, well over the water line of the bowl. The inside of the bowl was coated with liquified poop that looked a lot like melted chocolate, for some reason it all reminded him of chocolate ice cream, "Emolga," Mark said, "You certainly clogged the toilet."

Emolga laughed again, much harder than last time, "You little sh*t," her trainer laughed, "Okay, you need a bath later on. Get out of here you Emolgass, so I can clean up your mess!"

"Emolga." Emolga chuckled with a nod.

The Sky Squirrel Pokémon stretched her limbs as she got on all fours. Just before she walked into the hall, Mark gave her a nudge on the butt with his foot. It caused her to jump, and laugh some more. Even in a bad situation, Emolga's laughing always warms anyone's heart. Well, she had more heart than brain from the start.

Mark sat the camera down on the bathroom counter then got out the plunger in the sink cabinet, he let out a sigh as he pressed down on the lever to flush the toilet, _Why do I always put up with you, Emolga? _He thought.

Just as the toilet began to flush, Mark shoved the plunger into the toilet and began to break up the feces for an easier flush. The excrement bubbled and belched as it struggled to sink down the pipe, luckily it wasn't overflowing. Mark continued to push the plunger up and down to get things stirred up, once he felt it was enough Mark pulled the plunger out and sat it in the bathtub. He flushed the toilet a second time.

Without warning, a jet of brown water and feces erupted out of the toilet and blast Mark with it. The force was strong enough to knock him back into the wall as poop and water got everywhere, Mark grunted as the pressure disoriented him and he fell to the floor. It was over within seconds.

"Ugh," Mark screamed at the top of his lungs, "Nasty!"

He got up to his feet and looked at himself in the mirror, completely covered with Emolga's fecal matter from head to toe, "How did that happened!?" he roared at his own reflection.

Right away he remembered the local news on the TV earlier, _Sewer problems_, he thought, _F*ck sake!_

"Emolga!" cried Emolga after hearing her trainer's distress.

When she came running back, she stopped at the doorway and saw Mark covered in poo. It was her turn to burst out in uncontrollable laughter, Mark growled and just slammed the door on her face, "Damn you!" he swore at his Emolga.

"Emolga!" she continued to laugh.

Mark grumbled to himself as he stripped off all his clothes before hopping into the shower, he kicked the plunger aside as he turned on the water before letting it rain all over him. He grabbed the soap bar and began scrubbing off all the crap from his skin. He grumbled as he lathered the soap into suds and washed them away, angered from the bad luck that had quickly struck him. A few minutes later he sat the soap bar and sighed. He couldn't work up much hate for Emolga, as much as he wanted to. She wasn't entirely responsible, a toilet backup could happen to anyone. But this... How can simple sewer problems cause this?

He shut off the water and stepped out, he grabbed the nearby towel and looked over at the crap that just spilled all over the place. Then he saw the video camera, still on and recording.

Amazingly it wasn't touched by the feces, or the aftermath of the chaos. Inspiration instantly struck. What just happened in the past hour was hilarious, funny, and ridiculous. Though the video may need some editing, along with some special effects and slow motion moments, it may become an instant viral video. Mark wondered how much fame he would get. He would become another celebrity in Faraday City, since he's the grandson of an assistant to a Pokémon Master, that makes his job even easier. Who knows? He might even make money off of the video, or future videos.

"Whoa." he muttered to himself at the thought.

And it was all thanks to his Emolga, who was fortunate enough to put him in this situation. He wonders what she was doing at the moment, the shiny spite might start to think she was in trouble. The living room's a mess, the bathroom's covered in her sh*t, the smell might remain for months. But this might turn into a win yet, if Mark pulled the proper strings.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and grabbed the camera and stopped recording. Mark looked back at the bathroom, the floor was covered in crap and the wall was speckled with it. The ceiling got a little bit of feces as well, somehow. He opened the bathroom door and walked to his bedroom, he tossed the camera on his bed and put on a fresh white tank top and blue jeans. Once redressed, he head downstairs and saw Emolga back at her usual spot, watching TV.

"Emolga." Mark grumbled.

Emolga instantly gave him her attention. She looked puzzled, wondering what Mark was planning. Mark picked her up and gave her a big hug, "Emolga?" the Sky Squirrel Pokémon asked.

"You and me might become famous for this," said Mark, "Even though you cause a lot of damage and a ton of bills that might need to be paid later, it would be paid off later."

Emolga looked at Mark in the eyes, "Emolga?"

"Well Emolga," said Mark, "You have a knack for humor, and you're so cute and cuddly. But you're also stupid and lazy," he tighten his hug around Emolga again, "And I love you for it all, you little fur ball."

"Emolga." said Emolga, a bit touched at Mark's unusual unconditioned love.

Without warning, the front door opened. Mark turned and saw his dad walked through. He was wearing his Faraday City Police Uniform as he came in, when he saw the mess before him he didn't know what to make of it, "Mark?" he asked.

"Yes, Dad?" he asked.

He waved a finger at the piles of trash, "What is all this?"

_Uh-oh_. Mark thought as he felt a chill up his spine.

**THE END!  
**


End file.
